Have you ever cried over an episode of Weeds?

I hadn’t either, not until this week. To be honest, I wasn’t crying over the episode because it wasn’t even on. That was the problem–we’ve been in the New Mexico mountains, for the week to get away from the Texas heat, and I was relieved to see that the Geek’s parents had set up Showtime at their house here, so when it was time for Weeds, I was fully primed.

But.

Always a but, right?

The parental monitor feature had been turned on so we couldn’t get the show. It’s for adults, apparently. Who knew? The Geek called his mom in a hurry to get the code for it, but she had no idea what it was, so I didn’t get to watch it. I felt like a four year old who was just told she couldn’t have the last purple popsicle after being outside all day. Guess who had the pleasure of taking the brunt of my whininess? As most things do, it blew over, but not without a long period of irrational stony silence.

Ah, and then we started talking about my baby shower. My mom is helping a friend of hers host it, so she asked me to start pulling together a list of people to invite. I was really struggling with this, and could just come up with a few names. I whined about that too–I told the Geek that only five people were going to come, and it turned into this melodramatic fuss about how even if I wanted a village to help raise this child that wouldn’t happen because yada, yada, yada…

That escalated into an mini freak out about how his family isn’t even going to want to know our child because they have too much on their plate already (utterly ridiculous, actually). It wasn’t pretty. The terrible part of it all was that in the midst of everything I knew I was being absurd. I knew that everything I was thinking and saying was entirely off base. I’m pretty sure his parents want to meet this baby almost as much as we do but I just couldn’t turn it off, and things kept spiraling. If you know me even a little bit, you know that I’m a fairly level person and it takes quite a bit to set me off. I never thought that I would be susceptible to whatever hormonal switch happens during pregnancy that makes people go a little nuts sometimes. The Geek wasn’t expecting it either, poor guy.

The Geek was slightly excited by the prospect of a five person shower, which kept making me even more upset. He was looking at it from a minimalist point of view–less people, less stuff. I was looking at it as “oh my god, we’re the only people who are ever going to care about this baby, ever!”

Such are the joys of the infamous pregnancy mood swings. I’ve never felt this ridiculous, but at least we always end things laughing.

On the bright side, crying is really a delightful way of clearing out my sinuses!